Every child deserves love, and every little star needs to be cherished. And even though the castle may be filled to capacity at times, we at Rosen Castle do not want anyone to be left behind. So here is a guide with some tips for all your little lords and ladies. Moms and dads, it is time to educate!

Tips

1. Get a good start to great care
2. Important things to look out for when choosing great care
3. Where to from Rosen Castle?
4. Transporting the most precious cargo
5. To be a working mother and an efficient parent
6. Discipline
7. Politeness and good manners
8. Bedtime
9. Toilet training
10. Is your child suffering from stress?

1. Get a good start to great care

Falling pregnant is surely one of life's most exciting highlights! That being said, nothing and nobody can prepare you for the arrival of your bundle of joy and what follows thereafter.

Nobody warns you that as much as you agonise over exactly the right name for your precious child, make sure the nursery is just right and stock up on all the right supplies, your biggest task might be to start thinking about a good daycare should you return to your career. Unfortunately there are very few good nurseries, daycare facilities and day mothers – especially for babies.

You might think that it sounds a little farfetched to apply for a spot on our waiting list the day you decide to start a family, but it is the right thing to do.

Please see our year programme for dates for Open Days; you are welcome to come and see what we do and how we do it!

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2. Important things to look out for when choosing great care

When searching for someone to care for your baby, keep in mind that he or she cannot speak yet and are unable to tell you what happened to them during the day. Therefore, one of the most important criteria when picking a daycare facility for your child is that parents should be able to come and go as they please.

At Rosen Castle parents are welcome any time of the day. To visit, they simply pass the security guard that protect our castle from 07:00 to 18:00, type in the security code at the front door, pass the staff at our reception station (which is always manned) and go straight to their child's class. The fact that we encourage free access to your child will give you peace of mind.

Another important aspect is the ration of staff members to children at the facility. It is crucial that staff who work in a specific class only work there and are not expected to help out in the kitchen etc. Rosen Castle has 50 staff members. The staff to child ratio for babies between the ages of three months and about 18 months is 1:5.3; for two-year-old toddlers the ration is 1:8.3; and for children between the ages of three and six years the ratio is 1:12.5.

A school with a high staff turnover should best be avoided. Make sure that staff members are all well-qualified and that the person who manages the facility has an educational background.

Remember that there is absolutely no reason why a daycare facility should not be clean, friendly and well organised! Speak to parents from the particular facility to get an idea of what their experience has been thus far.

Perhaps the most important thing is a parent's gut feeling. If something bothers you about the facility but you cannot quite pinpoint what it is, rather do not take your child there.

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3. Where to from Rosen Castle?

Our castle has two sections – the main building and the annex. The main building is home to children from the ages of three months to five years and consists of ten classes.

The annex is home to two Grade R classes which are registered with the Department of Education. It also has a sports room, Rapunzel's Books (library), a therapy room and an administration office.

Most of the Rosen Castle families are with us from the early baby days to Grade R. These are precious years and we all cherish and celebrate it with family days, concerts, parties, fetes and various other highlights. Friends become parents and parents become friends and this makes saying goodbye extremely difficult. That is why we have a very special farewell function for parents and children at the end of the Grade R year.

Thereafter our royal little kings and queens mostly attend Kenridge, Eversdal, Gene Louw, Durbanville Preparatory School and to a lesser extent Kurro and Chesterhouse.

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4. Transporting the most precious cargo

Your children are the most precious cargo you will ever ferry. Therefore it is of the utmost importance to make sure that you do it as safely as possible.

According to a recent article by Liberty Medical Scheme, an American study showed that child safety seats can reduce the need for hospitalisation after vehicle accidents by 69%. The study estimated that 485 lives could have been saved in only one year if all children were secured in child safety seats.

According to Netcare 911, Liberty Medical Scheme's emergency medical services provider, the safest place for all children under the age of 12 is on the back seat, properly restrained in an approved and specially manufactured child safety seat.

These seats have been designed for children of all ages in order to protect them from injuries during collisions, sudden stops, swerving or even the opening doors while a vehicle is moving. Up to the age of one year babies should travel in the rear-facing position in an infant car seat. They should only start travelling in a forward-facing seat once they no longer fit into the infant car seat.

Never leave the straps or harnesses of a child's car seat undone. Also, when choosing the right child restraint, use the child's weight and age, and the positions of the straps as a guide. Always follow the manufacturer's instructions when installing a restraint and placing a child in it.

Adult seat belts are not designed for children in terms of size, weight and body proportions; therefore it is not suitable for babies and young children. Children are only ready to use an adult seatbelt when their eyes are level with the top of the back seat or they weigh at least 26kg. At this time, make sure that the seat belt fits low over the body and the hips, not the stomach, and the diagonal sash never touches the child's face or neck. Netcare 911 also cautions parents against sharing a seat belt with a child or transporting a child on a passenger's lap.

Children should never stand between the front and back seat or lie down in the back window of the car!

Source: Liberty Medical Scheme

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5. To be a working mother and an efficient parent

An ever-increasing number of mothers with young children are following the trend to return to work. These mums have taken on two full-time jobs, one at home and one at work. Without assistance the stress will take its toll.

It seems only fair that if children are planned and conceived they should consequently be cared for. In the 21st century, there is no place for a sleeping partner in a family where both parents are working. Fathers must wake up to this reality.

Though many mothers worry and feel guilty when they pursue a career again, there is no evidence that working mothers do an injustice to their children. Daycare must of course be good and parents must give lots of attention to their children after work and on weekends. In parenting it is not quantity but quality that counts.

It is not the number of hours spent away from home that make the difference but:

• the quality of the child’s daycare arrangements,
• the quality of the parent-child relationship,
• mum’s emotional well-being, and
• extra attention given to the child when parents and child are together.

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6. Discipline

We live in a time of obedient parents and disobedient children. Parents obey their children while it should be the other way around and this is, needless to say, a major problem! Let’s consider the definition of discipline: obeying authority and orderly behaviour.

The best time and way to teach discipline is when your child begins to understand the difference between yes and no. Then the most important task begins to teach the child to obey his/her parents.

Spoiling a child causes behavioural and social problems in future. A spoilt child, who gets everything he/she wants and whose behaviour is not within certain limits, is probably:

• IMPOSSIBLE to satisfy;
• INCONSIDERATE towards other people’s feelings;
• GREEDY because he/she expects to get more than others;
• UNPOPULAR with other children;
• UNCERTAIN because no limits are set, and
• DISOBEDIENT because the child has always been allowed to do just as he/she wants.

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7. Politeness and good manners

Politeness and good manners are social skills that children have to acquire, and they do not come automatically. It can be confusing for children to be taught that something is acceptable in one instance, but not in another.

There are various ways of teaching your children good manners:

• Teach them from an early age to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.
• As soon as your child is old enough to understand, teach him/her why it is so important to show consideration for other people, to wait your turn and to share. Your child will not understand everything immediately but you are laying the foundation for good manners in future.
• Anticipate situations where they perhaps can forget to greet, to say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ and remind them in advance.
• When your child displays good manners, show him/her that you have recognised it and that you are proud.
• If your child misbehaves deliberately, you must indicate that that kind of behaviour is unacceptable.

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8. Bedtime

It is not to a small child’s advantage to be awake after 20:00. They only become difficult, irritated, weepy and exhausted. Their small little bodies and souls are still growing and developing and every bit of sleep is beneficial. Happy and healthy children flourish on love, a safe home, healthy food, enough exercise and enough sleep.

Just like with adults, children’s sleeping patterns differ. Right from birth the baby intuitively knows how to regulate his/her sleep for optimal physical and mental health. You must respect this to prevent problems.

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9. Toilet training

Despite anxious parents, grandparents, the interfering neighbour and a host of other people who think they know better, children become toilet trained when they, and only they, are ready.

No child can be trained until the appropriate nerve pathways have sufficiently matured, a process that is completely outside the influence of even the most brilliant parent or doctor. Once sufficiently mature, the process is controlled by the child’s will to comply, or his determination to defy, which in turn is dependent on the child’s temperament, as well as the skills and expertise of the trainer.

Our teaching today is clear:

• Eighteen months is the earliest age to consider toilet training.
• Two years is probably a more realistic time and it is no problem even if you wait until two and a half.
• The average toddler will be night-trained at 33 months.
• The normal toddler will become night trained somewhere between 18 months and eight years.
• One in ten of all normal five-year olds still wet at night. Those are three in every nursery class at school.
• If one parent was not night trained before the age of six, 40% of their children might follow suit.
• If both parents were not night trained before the age of six, 70% of their children might follow suit. (Children - please choose your parents carefully!!)
• Forcing little children causes tension and tension causes little humans to contract their muscles. Don’t force - relax. Relaxed little children find toileting easiest.

The fundamental rules:

• A child must first learn to sit on the toilet before he can learn to open his bowels on that toilet.
• A child must know the difference between the feeling of wet and dry before the bladder can be trained.
• A child must be able to produce some dry nappies at night before you can expect a dry bed.

These are the basic rules for toilet training children. It seems pretty obvious that you have to sit before you can perform on a toilet. Seagulls may be able to do it as they fly over the harbour, but little humans need to be firmly in place if they are going to hit the target. It is equally obvious that you are wasting your breath trying to convince a youngster that he/she should have used the toilet when he/she is quite oblivious to the fact that he/she has just done it in his/her pants. If the nappies have been consistently wet every night, it stands to reason that if you remove them the bed will become wet every night.

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10. Is your child suffering from stress?

Stress is a mental state caused by a situation that is experienced as a threat. This situation can cause physical and emotional reactions and children could possibly experience the following stress in the developmental stage:

What are the signs of stress?

• Nail biting, thumb sucking or twirling hair around a finger;
• The desire to steal or tell lies;
• Put the blame for everything on somebody else;
• Physical symptoms such as stomach ache, wetting the bed and regular colds;
• Regular stomach aches, dry mouth, fast breathing, palpitations;
• Regular nightmares, sleeping problems;
• Unhappy and weepy without reason;
• High-risk behavioural patterns;
• Isolates him/herself from family and friends;
• Clings to parent and criticises others;
• Fever without a reason, nausea, neck pain;
• Cross and irritated;
• Negative remarks about him/herself;
• Changes in normal behavioural patterns;
• Grumpiness, moans, grumbles and nags;
• Permanent feeling of aggression;
• Regresses to behaviour suited to younger children;
• Muscle cramps, sweaty hands, absent-minded, tantrums;
• Teases or irritates brothers and sisters;
• Withdraws from activities that were previously enjoyed;
• Loss of appetite or poor appetite;
• Trust in people decreases;
• Feelings of not belonging or not being loved;
• Feels afraid and anxious, and
• Is frightened that something might happen.

How can I help my child?

• Plan a quiet time during the day and simplify his/her schedule;
• Plan ahead for appointments so that the child does not feel pressurised;
• Provide nutritious meals;
• Give positive feedback and praise his/her achievements;
• Provide crayons and paper so that he/she can give outing to his/her feelings;
• Help your child to develop supporting friendships;
• Be a good listener;
• Spend time with your child;
• Be jolly, tickle one another and do things that your child finds funny;
• Tell your child that you will always be there, and be there!
• Promote enough time to rest.

(Source: Guide and Answers)

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